So exhausted

As some of you may know, my mother's health is not the best. Lately, however, it has started a terrible spiral. This spiral has been started primarily due to her inability to monitor her own medications properly. She is a Type I diabetic and has been since she was 8 (she turns 59 on 7/31/10). She has numerous diabetic related illnesses that she takes medications for. She also has dementia. She smokes over a pack of cigarettes a day. She does not eat healthy well rounded meals, nor does she eat regularly. To wrap up my mother is fairly sick and not taking very well care of herself due to her dementia.

Since January her heart has stopped twice due to low blood sugar, and was thankfully revived. EMTs have responded to the house numerous times, and has been more frequent over the last (2) months. In the middle of this month (over a course of (2) weeks) she had (6) episodes of low blood sugar; (5) of which EMTs responded. She was taken to the ER twice in a (4) day period, and the only reason it wasn’t all (4) was because there were people around her all day for the (2) days in the middle. Since then either my aunt, sister, or I have been spending the day with her to make sure she does okay throughout the day. That includes making her check her blood sugar, eat, take her medications.

Then there is my father; where to start on this one. I love my father I really do, but the man drives me insane. He is the one that typically finds her unconscious and has to deal with it. I've been through it a few times myself, so I do understand how he feels to some degree (key difference being she's my mother vs. she's his wife). My father, whether or not he wants to admit it, is an alcoholic. I'm not sure what his original trigger was, but I know he has more than (1) at this point. He called me at one point recently telling me things no father should tell his son (let alone adopted son) when it concerns his biological mother. I don't need to air that laundry out here, but needless to say I was very upset by what he told me. Right now, since a family get-together to discuss my mother's care, my father's key responsibility is to measure her insulin and give her medications to her, and then make sure she eats before he leaves for work in the morning. Then he needs to make sure she takes her medications and insulin and eats dinner when he gets home. Doesn't seem too difficult does it? Well apparently it is nigh impossible for him to accomplish the morning tasks. It kills me to ask myself, "What happened to the father you once looked up to and held so much respect for? Where is that man now, when your mother needs him most?"

All of this adds up to a large amount of stress for me. It was so bad at one point my eczema was starting to flare up, and I really haven't had a problem with that for years. I am sure my aunt and sister are stressed and tired as well. I am very thankful they are helping out as well, or I would probably lose it. I'm also so very thankful I have such a loving and supportive wife. I would be lost without her by me. I am so tired, exhausted, and burnt out by everything going on. Life is definitely getting to be overwhelming for me right now, but I know I can handle it. That is why I am blogging about all of this. I want to thank everyone who has given me words of encouragement and lent me a friendly ear through this.